My 21st at LilMissys (Leven Nuthouse! only jokin =P)

Right well either u do or dnt know it was my Birthday on thursday. =S im getting old. I dont do old. Its like this is the first year ive ever been able to live and its like im nearly eligable for my winter fuel allowance!!! But yeah so i didnt really do much through the day same as usual sat on my arse nursing my piles!! But in the freezin cold scottish evening i went round the FAMOUS Lilmissy's for dinner and Lovely Sansmile im sure u know her cooked an awesome chinese!!! (reminds me too get recipes) Well this was a bit different. Well first of all i never been round someones for dinner so and second ive never met anyone off the net. lol So this has all gone pete tong all in wonky order but thats how me nut works so im just gonna carry on. Because ive been typing ages now that i aint deleting it. Anyway yeah so i got to the flat and it was Just Sans and the Wee one Jazmin, aww she was lovely. See i have this fear of kids like since school n the bullying n that. But when i walked in n i saw lil Jazmin and she was sooooooooo Sweet!!! and lovely. But i felt bad cause i beat her on the Wii she might tell u different but I won!!! lol Then LilMissy come home. And i think one of the first things she said is Woooooah your so skinny!!! lol So yeah carrying on errrm Yeah they gave me my One and only Birthday Card I think that was my First card since my 15 Birthday. So ment alot to me. In fact Im looking at it now. Its gonna stay up till Next year (How sad am i!!) lol So then we sit down for dinner which was AWESOME. Thanks Sandie. Then Just chatted and stuff and it opened my eyes to alot of things. But most of All the thing that ment the most to me was the fact i had the privilige to spend my Birthday with an awesome Family!!! You are all smashing and u have a place in my heart. Anyways before i cry ill rap this up! lol. SO many thanks for making my Birthday one i will never forget. Yeah so i didnt quite manage to rap it up before i cry but yeah....... so Missy was hassling me all day to write so im now back off to studying. Chow 4 now.

Dans Testimony Up 2 "the now" (I dnt get why the scots put a the before some words. But each to their own)

Well I was Born in Falkirk but then was quickly moved to welsh land. Where i learnt to tie my shoes and say the alphabet but counting was a big problem. So because i couldnt count my parents obviously thought id fit in better in essex :). Well when we reached Essex wel........ it all went downhill really. (Warning!! this is going to get depressing but picks up later on!) My Dad became a violent drunk and he used to beat me and bully me regularly and the bullying also occurred right through school. My Mum was too scared of my Dad to stop him so things just carried on. So.... u can probably tell i was a very scared little boy i was full of insecurity had no one i could trust. no friends etc etc. Ya no how it goes anyway. All this carried on till i was 16 well 15 it was a month before my 16th Birthday my Dad kicks me out onto the streets. Well then i was screwed because i had never been taught how to live, didnt no how to talk to people because i was scared of them. So there was me walking the streets for nearly 2 years waiting for the council to get me a place I tried to commit suicide Twice but failed miserably First time was when i found 20 Ecsatcy tablets in a bush behind a bush shelter. I had taken them all with in 20 mins. And i then wlked back to where i i had been sleeping for a while and then the Ecstacy hit me and hoo yaaa ive never ever felt anything so Maddd as this. I was swollowing my tongue struggling to keep it up. I was dead against a wall couldnt move paralised My heart was nearly coming out my chest and i was hilusinating like crazy. the next thing i remember is waking up in Hospital. I had been found by someone walking past I was losing it too much too realise what was going on. So then I was back on the streets struggling along then a few months past id had enough again and tried Over dosing on some Tablets id stole from Tesco's. Ended up in Hospital again. Then this time when i left the hospital a few weeks later i finally got a place it was tiny little Bedsit. It was a room about 4x3metres and it was a communial bathroom and kitchen. It smelt rotten but it was a roof over my head and was well chuffed with it. Well now that i had a home i managed to get a Job working in a banana factory (I must say that was one of the best Jobs ive had) I managed to make a few friends while working here for the first time in my life i had FRIENDS!!!! (But to find they were a bad influence) So now i was earning money had a home and friends i thought i was sorted so i started goin out drinking clubbing etc doing What i thought was what normal people did. But it evolved into me doing drugs again and drinking heavily. So ended back on the slippery slope to my personal Hell. And i get to the point where i cant cope AGAIN!! so i try suicide for the third time, and again i failed miserably!! (Ithink someone was trying to tell me something) well while in hospital this time i had my own little room, and this guy walks in says "Hi, i have just come into give u this" and he put a Bible on the Bed then he left. I opened the cover and it had a message. This is a gift for u from God. Well this is the first thing i had been given in a long time. So i cherished it and read it for something to read. Not knowing anything about God i thought it was just a word. And i loved reading the Psalms they were so calming for me. So i left Hospital and returned to work to find there was a new Guy started. His name was Danny. And we became quite close then one day he just said straight up u need JESUS!!! He can take all ur trouble and fears away. He can give u a life u always dreamed of. HE LOVES YOU!!!! and as soon as he said He Loves You. I burst into tears and fell to the florr sobbing. I had never heard that my whole life. And right then that was what i had missing in my Life. So then i gave my life to him. And things started changing all of a sudden, Im moveing Jobs for better money, i was able to get a Flat of my own which was clean and was MINE!!! I finally had my own Home where it was just me. Not cooking with others Not worrying if someone is gonna smash down the toilet door. All mine. And life started to turn out Good. I was going to church regularly and loving it. And i was studying hard. Then a year ago in a dream i could see me stood on the Old Course golf course in St Andrews Scotland and there was no one around. And when i woke up with out thinking i new i had to be there. So i told Danny i was leaving i packed and got the first train. Danny said "when u get there have Faith that God will provide everything and with-in a week i had a flat and i had a Summer Job on the Old Course. And i was like WOW!!! and this boosted my faith levels up. So i get stuck in with work and make friends but to find that they were also a bad influence on me. Back heavy drinking clubbing the usual that i was getting up to a year previous. So i realised this and cut it off. I managed to get another Job on a different Golf course in St Andrews. And i just studyied and worked. And i realised that the reason i am here right now is to grow close to God and He made it so that it was difficult for me to make friends so that i focused on Him. Which i am getting better on still not perfect lol but who is...... only Jesus!! anyways yeah so I had been Praying alot about getting in touch with danny again as he was the only Friend i had who new the real me and i could trust Him. We lost contact when i came up here. Well A few days ago he had a Dream to go onto CCUK and that i would be there. So... he came onto chat and i was there. All i saw was SAUL says: Im From Halstead Essex. And i was like wait a min im from there. Thats where i lived. So i was like where abouts?? im from There. Then i get a Private Message saying "Hey Dan its Danny!" and i was in tears i was shocked i am still lost for words now. And not sure what is happening but i am in contact with him now. and i have made good friends on CCUK. And i am so excited to see what God has planned for me next. He is Just so AWESOME!!!!! Thank You Father for the life u have given me. This was Just a quick run through of my testimony. I will be adding details at later dates of the Different things that Happened and where God and his True and Powerful Word brought me up from the gutters.

Welcome to Dans world.

Welcome to my weird and wonderful Blog of Bare madness. And The Good stuff aswell whatever that maybe.............. Anyhow yeah so Ill just let u have a read and Let u see alittle in to the Mind of Dan. Happy Reading.