Defeating My selfishness

When i first came to the Lord i was full of selfishness. It was real defect of mine. And no matter what i personally did. I just couldnt tackle it. I was trying to use God for my own advantage. I expected now i have accepted Him he will do and give me everything i need and want. But after a while i started to realise that He wasnt and i was getting really frustrated and annoyed. Started praying giving God a choice "either u do this for me or ill forget u exist!!" i really couldnt get my head round it when people say "Jesus will give u a life u always dreamed of and He will supply all your needs" well i wasnt getting any of my needs. (well what i thought was me needs.) But in prayer and meditation one day the HS took me too some scripture which taught and changed my complete way of thinking and defeating my selfishness. So i thought i would share it with u all...

In the Book of James which is one of my favourites its really helped me too fit back into the world. Its really pratical for day to day life and how to relate to people. So anyway i was studying and meditating and James 3 and this scripture really hit me.

Jas 3:17 and the wisdom from above, first, indeed, is pure, then peaceable, gentle, easily entreated, full of kindness and good fruits, uncontentious, and unhypocritical: --
Jas 3:18 and the fruit of the righteousness in peace is sown to those making peace.

It talks about How the widom from above FIRST, indeed, IS PURE.then......

So this got me meditateing on whats does it mean by pure. I was asking the HS to show me and it led me too 1 corinthians 12 and 13.

In 1 corinthinans 12 Paul talks about the Gifts of the Spirit and the Super-Natural ability we are given.
Super being God
Natural being Man
It is God putting his Super abiblities upon our man making it super natural.

So in the last verse of chapter 12 it says.


1Co 12:31 and desire earnestly the better gifts; and yet a far excelling way do I shew to you: (YLT)

and in the Amplified it says

1Co 12:31 But earnestly desire and zealously cultivate the greatest and best gifts and graces (the higher gifts and the choicest graces). And yet I will show you a still more excellent way [one that is better by far and the highest of them all--love].

See here at the last verse Paul says U can have all these gifts But he also says there is something greater than these gifts and that is LOVE.It is better and greater, It is pre-emenent Power over all the Gifts he has mentioned. So that leads on to chapter 13 with LOVE in mind.


1Co 13:1 If with the tongues of men and of messengers I speak, and have not love, I have become brass sounding, or a cymbal tinkling;
1Co 13:2 and if I have prophecy, and know all the secrets, and all the knowledge, and if I have all the faith, so as to remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing;
1Co 13:3 and if I give away to feed others all my goods, and if I give up my body that I may be burned, and have not love, I am profited nothing.
1Co 13:4 The love is long-suffering, it is kind, the love doth not envy, the love doth not vaunt itself, is not puffed up,
1Co 13:5 doth not act unseemly, doth not seek its own things, is not provoked, doth not impute evil,
1Co 13:6 rejoiceth not over the unrighteousness, and rejoiceth with the truth;
1Co 13:7 all things it beareth, all it believeth, all it hopeth, all it endureth.
1Co 13:8 The love doth never fail; and whether there be prophecies, they shall become useless; whether tongues, they shall cease; whether knowledge, it shall become useless;
1Co 13:9 for in part we know, and in part we prophecy;
1Co 13:10 and when that which is perfect may come, then that which is in part shall become useless.
1Co 13:11 When I was a babe, as a babe I was speaking, as a babe I was thinking, as a babe I was reasoning, and when I have become a man, I have made useless the things of the babe;
1Co 13:12 for we see now through a mirror obscurely, and then face to face; now I know in part, and then I shall fully know, as also I was known;
1Co 13:13 and now there doth remain faith, hope, love--these three; and the greatest of these is love.

In the King James bible it uses the word charity. Which is to define what kind of Love it is. Its a Love which goes away from yourself. Notice here that nothings working with out Love??

Verse 2 says: 1Co 13:2 and if I have prophecy, and know all the secrets, and all the knowledge, and if I have all the faith, so as to remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing;

He says u can have all these things Prophecy, know all secrets have all Knowlege etc... But with Love its nothing it dont work.

The next verse says 1Co 13:3 and if I give away to feed others all my goods, and if I give up my body that I may be burned, and have not love, I am profited nothing.

You could bestow your Goods to feed the poor and do a bunch of noble things. And u can burn urself out doing noble things. But with out Love what Kind of prophet do you have Nothing.

Notice in verse 8:1Co 13:8 The love doth never fail; and whether there be prophecies, they shall become useless; whether tongues, they shall cease; whether knowledge, it shall become useless;

Love never fails because GOD is Love. God does not have Love HE IS LOVE. And God never Fails and Love never fails. He says if u have prophecy, prophecy with out love will become useless. Wether there be Tounges with out love They will cease, Wether there be knowledge without love it shall become useless.
So all the Gifts of the SPIRIT that Paul talks about in Chapter 12 are all subject to LOVE. That every power that God has made available to mankind Is all subject to LOVE. Every miracle that has been made available to mankind is Subject to LOVE. ALL Faith that God has made available to Mankind is Subject to LOVE. Which lets me know that unless i DEVELOP in the LOVE OF GOD i am limiting the Powers that have been made available to me operate in and around my life.

AMEN i love that bit. As soon as the HS revealed that i was just stunned. But theres MORE loads more....... so carrying on

Paul says something here in verse 11 that really helps to show what real manhood is about.

1Co 13:11 When I was a babe, as a babe I was speaking, as a babe I was thinking, as a babe I was reasoning, and when I have become a man, I have made useless the things of the babe;

He is talking about being a child/babe in love. The whole chapter is about LOVE. He is saying when i was immature in Love or where i was carnal where the thing of LOVE is concerned. When u are immature in love you will be all the things that Love doesnt represent. When u are a child in love u will be envious, will not be kind, u will be puffed up, u will seek ur own, u will be Selfish, u will be offended. When u are a child in Love u will do carnal and fleshy things. A Child where Love is concerned a person who is immature in the Love walk is a person who will be extremely mature in the flesh walk. Or in carnal things. So Paul says when i was a child or when i was fleshy or when i was carnal or when i was immature or what it all comes down to is when i was selfish. Because all of them things are based in selfishness selfish. All sin is Based in selfishness.

See a child is self-centred. A child is by nature self-centred. A child isnt bothered about how tired u are they cry when they want feeding they cry when they need changing they cry when u take something off them. They are Self-centred by nature. So what it all boils down to what Paul is saying is when i was selfish I thought selfish things, I spoke selfish things, But he says when i became a man/mature/developed (a man where LOVE is concerned) he put away childish/selfish things. He talks about manhood in the LOVE of GOD. to develop, because they dont no what to become. A man is not a man just because his voice gets a little deeper. A man is a man because he knows how to develop in the LOVE of GOD. He knows how to forgive, he knows how not to be envious, he knows how not to be jealous, he knows how to retaliate the way God says to retaliate, If anyone knows what manhood is about it has to be CREATOR of the man. And Jesus was absolutely a man because he retaliates LOVES way. And when a man matures in LOVE he has matured in his manhood. So paul says I put all of that away all the carnal fleshy selfish things. And i know become LOVE n i call that a man.

Now learning all this well...... what can i say. If u have read my testimony i didnt know how too live, right from childhood. And in this one chapter it has shown me HOW!!! as u can guess i cried AGAIN!!!!

So then i was led to the book of Galatians.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Gal 5:23 meekness, temperance: against such there is no law;

This reveals to us the components which make up Love. But the fruit of the spirit IS love. Notice it says the fruit and not fruits. If u had an apple for instance, but there are different components that make the apple an apple if u takes those things away u no longer have an apple. There is one Fruit of the spirit and that is love. The rest are the components that make up Love. So the Fruit of the Spirit is LOVE and the Fruit of the Flesh is Selfishness. See selfishness is the direct opposite of Love. O the components of Love are Joy, peace, Long-suffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness,Meekness, Temperance. SO they are all the components that make up LOVE. So if u want too measure the level of Love in your life. U can measure the components that make up this fruit of Love.

This really helped me and gave me a starting place to start growing in LOVE. I took it a week on each one in rotating order and slowly i started to grow in the Love of GOD. I have too carry on growing in all these areas. Not just a few or not just the ones i like. ALL for me to be able top grow and walk in the Love of God.

So were not talking about an emotional type of love. I did not know what Love really was. My love was strictly based on selfishness. it was strictly based on what i could see, what i could hear, and the pride of life!! I heard many people say they fell out of Love. Or they have fallen in Love so this really confused me. Because i thought i would have to "Fall" into this Love of God. But then i realised u dont fall into Love or Fall out of it. I had the wrong misconception of it. The HS showed me that in order to get this love its gonna require development. I had to develop all the Components that make up Love. I when i develop in something i Grow in Love. And once i grow in Love i cant fall out of what it took to get into it. Theres a difference between growth and development. Growth doesnt require much effort When we were born we grew up. Didnt take much effort on our part to grow. But development, We all have same amount of muscles on the inside. But u may see one guy with huge biceps and another guy with weedy lil arms. The reason is the guy with big biceps put effort and strain into developing them. See u get married or get into a relationship and here's how u fall in love. u fall in love by what u can see. fall in love by what ur hearing, "She sooooo finee!!". So here we are developing an emotional attatchment. which isnt requiring any Love at all. When u fall in love that kinda way and its just an emotional type of thing and u dont develop in what real love is. As soon as pressure hits the marriage or relationship,ur gonna fall right out of it!! Am i right?? lol Coz emotions change!! But when u develop in love and uve been working on your temperance etc. Uve been working on coming away from selfishness. (which was Hard!!) And when ur relationship hits pressure or just in gneral ur life gets pressure u use that pressure to develop in the Love of God. While ur emotions maybe a little uncomfortable ur love away from selfishness says were gonna get through this because its not about ME!! See the worlds Love is based in selfishness but they call it Love. But as soon as there's a challenge u wanna get up n leave.

I realised that it is not Satan who is defeating me. It is my openess to him thats defeating me!! It is because i fail to develop in real love and maintain selfishness. As long as selfishness is being maintained i am providing the foundation in whch Crisis can continue to exist in my life. As long as selfishness is there Satan has door to come and cause havoc in my life. ( im still not perfect with it lol) So all the components of Love require me moving away from selfishness. So there is no selfishness in Love. And thats the Key in my life. There is no selfishness in Love. it requires DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!

SO if we back up to vers 19-20&21 it decribes what i call the fruit of the flesh (selfishness) All sin is based in selfishness!!! The greatest deception that Satan has ever pulled off is for us too blame him for everything when it was really urself!! (this shocked me- but so true!!)
(Gal 5:19) And manifest also are the works of the flesh, which are: Adultery, whoredom, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

(Gal 5:20) idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, strifes, emulations, wraths, rivalries, dissensions, sects,
(Gal 5:21) envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revellings, and such like, of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that those doing such things the reign of God shall not inherit.
Adultry is the manifestation of selfishness. In fact all these are manifestation of Selfishness!! All of these are selfish acts. Ur only thinking about urself!! Selfish people doing selfish things. Only thinking about ur own gratification. Whichcraft for example is trying to get all the things the bible promises but u go a different avenue too get it. Like u go to the horiscope page tell me im an aquarius etc. I aint no Waterboy. Im a christian!! Or eating a fortune cookie "let me see wat my fortune is" (which are pretty darn close at times) "give me another cookie" lol Nooo no thank u Lord ill stick with Jesus. Amen. see its all based in self hatred, emulation wrath strife (i wanna be mad because i wanna be mad!) all based in SELF!! But at first i didnt know wat any of these words ment and i had to look them up in the dictionary. Thats how unaware of the world i was. So all Satan has got too do is find a way to maintain my selfishness.

NOTHING just happens!! I had too throw that excuse away!! lol ( was a favourite of mine "But it just happened") Nothing is just as it is, just cause it happens too be!! Wow confusing!! "hey sir ra sir ra, wateva will be will be!!" OOooo im musical aswell. lol There is nothing in my life that is not the cause of 1 of 2 of these laws. There are only 2 laws that determine what happens in life. And those two laws
1) The law of sin and death
2) The law of the spirit and life that is in Christ Jesus.

I am subject too one of two of these laws. Either i am operating in all law of life in Christ Jesus or im operating in law of sin and death. And if im operating in the Law of life in Christ Jesus then LOVE is the result of that. And if im operating in the law of sin and death then selfishness is the result of that. Out of LOVE Faith is born. Out of Selfishness, FEAR is born. In other words if i wanna know if selfishness is alive, then if i can identify any fear in my life (which i still have!) So Selfishness is still living somewhere in me! Because there cant be fear without selfishness. And if i wanna know if Love is alive in my life. Then i can identify it by where my faith is. Because Faith work worketh by love.

But the bible says the Law of the the spirit of life has made me FREE the the law of sin and death!! So if i wanna get out of Selfishness and get outta fear and get outta bondage and all the things that come from the Law of sin and death. Then the only way too do it is Turn on the Law of the Spirit of Life which is in Christ Jesus. Which will make u free from selfishness, free from fear etc. But against the Law of Love there is no Law that exists that can come against or stop the law of Love!! THATS WHY LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!

Thats enough for now i will continue later on. There is alot more yat too come. I spent a whole year meditating and prayer and asking for wisdom just on this Very subject and alot was revealed too me.